Threat level: 0.75

Well aren’t I just the triple double single uhhh… half a threat? 3/4 of a threat?

So, we had our first rehearsal with choreography last night. Now, I’m sure if you were a dancer, or had done dancing at all, that the choreography we were doing would not have fazed you at all. But me? Well, I have had to do dancing for shows before, but apparently all that has done is made me super aware of all the bits likely to go horribly wrong.

I’ve been trying to figure it out and I suspect the difference may be in the ‘flow’ of the dance. I learn each move singularly, which means I quite often finish one move then stand stock still as I wait for my brain to catch up and remind me what the next one is. I think that dancers may be learning the routine as a whole. Music is like that too, much more difficult to learn note by note, easier when you learn the tune. Or reading too – easier to read when you can pick up the sense of a paragraph or sentence rather than look at each word.

I also fear that my default setting might be ‘statue’ or possibly ‘muppet’. So when we haven’t been given a specific move, I either stand still, or flail in an unco-ordinated and quite-likely-to-take-out-an-eye way.

You’ve probably assumed by now that we are undertaking some kind of fantastic ballet for the show, but no. Just the occasional step-touch, shimmy and pointing. It really is that simple. The problem is that while I’m learning the dance moves the rest of my skills apparently clamber out of my skull then go sit on the side of the stage and bitch about how badly I’m moving, instead of kicking in and helping me. I like to think I’m an OK singer – but give me a step-touch to do at the same time, and I lose all harmony and start singing the tune. With the wrong words.  Acting? I’m fine, particularly comedy/slapstick I like to think. But again, throw a sashay in the mix and I stare numbly at my limbs as they weave intriguing (nay, terrifying) patterns in the air and act like I’ve been thrown on stage as an 8 year old, with no clue what ‘character’ or ‘expression’ mean.

Ah well. It’s a learning curve. Or something. At some point I’ll no doubt figure out what all the parts of my body should be doing at the right time.

I will share with you now, my favourite video of the day which quite sums up my feelings about it all. Thanks Svend for pointing me to it!